My Nana

I've been thinking a lot of nana lately, as has Miss Darian. We talk about her and reminisce about the times when she was here, the dolls she had, her Barbies, the way OD would be on his way to take her to her room on her chair, but not quite; he'd take her around the house and have fun pushing her around. Then she couldn't really tell him "take me to my room," so she'd wave at him with her hand toward her room (gesturing for him to take her back), so he finally would give in and take her to her room. He was such a good boy to Nana, he would help her to walk down the hallway toward the kitchen; if he saw her, he would let her take his arm and they'd walk arm-in-arm into the kitchen, it was so precious to see him helping her like that.

I'll walk into her room sometimes and just remember the lump under her blankets and remember that I'd have to go in and wake her up so she could come and eat, otherwise she'd sleep all day if you let her.

I walk into her closet and can still smell her there, because that's where her clothing and belonging still are. It's an odd sensation, the person is gone, but their smell is still there. I wonder if anyone will miss my scent when I'm gone?? Your sense of smell is a funny thing, it can conjure up thoughts, memories, feelings for a person, feelings of a certain point in time, depending on the smell, whether it be a perfume, scent of a person, food, whatever; I always found that fascinating.

I miss her.

Even though she wasn't here for long, I wish she would have been here with us a bit longer, but I did what I could in the time that she gave me. I guess she felt obligated to Veronica and Connie, nothing I could do about that really. But, at times I still felt like I should have insisted more on having her come live here, but, well, I guess she had a nice life for the last few months of her life, more comfort, doting, enough food to eat, comforts of home. That's all I wanted to do, take care of her, because all she ever did was take care of others.

I'm glad I was able to give her the only Birthday parties she ever had in her life, I think she liked it and appreciated it. I enjoyed giving her a party, a day for only her. I am most proud of the way I was able to bring Nana back in touch with Aunt Val and her family, I think that was an important thing for her. It was a great thing for everyone, and I'm sure everyone is glad that it finally happened. I'm so thankful for that day!!!

I love you Nana!!!