My Beautiful Baby Boy Odysseus

It was 11 years ago today, that I was first introduced (formally and in-person) to a really amazing little boy. I remember the day I went to the hospital to have him, of course, everything had been pre-planned and I knew he was coming that day, even though he really shouldn't have been here until March 17th. My little body just couldn't take being pregnant anymore and, not surprising, Odysseus couldn't wait to come into the world and start making himself known.

I was not alone in this whole process, but a lot of the time, unfortunately, I felt alone. But this day I was not alone (physically), but I'll write this from my perspective, not OURS.

This delivery was the easiest I have ever had, thanks in large part to the epidural I got. I had never had one before, and Hallelujah, Praise God for medicine!!! It was the best!!! After I got the epidural, I felt no pain. I literally was sitting there talking with and watching TV with OD's dad. The doctor kept coming in and checking to see how dialated I was, and finally the time came when I could start pushing and helping this little booger to come out. I wanted to see him, and meet him and see what was in store for me. It didn't feel like I pushed too long, but who really knows, as I wasn't watching the clock much at this time. But really and truly, I felt like I was only pushing maybe 5 or 6 times.

He finally pops out of me and the doctors check him out and give him to me, and he has this little swollen little face, but his head looks perfectly round, not all funny and cone-ish, thank goodness. Come to think of it, none of my kids had cone-heads. I think, because I pushed them out pretty quickly and they didn't have to sit in the birth canal for any length of time. Anyway, I held you, little Odysseus, in my arms and I was so happy to see you. I offered OD to his dad, for the daddy to finally hold his little baby, but he refused. I was stunned!! WTH??? I didn't understand, and to this day, I still don't understand why he refused. Not only did he refuse that day, but for the next 2 days. Unbelievable. I guess I shouldn't have been shocked.

Anyway, my baby boy has been with me for 11 years and it's 11 years that I am truly grateful for. I'm so glad that I get to be with him and he with me, every single day. OD has been a joy in my life, and one that is so deeply imbedded in my soul, as are all my kids.

I look back at all the precious moments I've had with this beautiful creature, I laugh at the funny things he's done, marvel at his intelligence, his ability to remember and memorize the smallest of details, and I am eager to see how far he goes with his baseball talent. I have so much to look forward to with this baby boy.

I remember back when he was 4 years old, and he used to love that AC/DC song, "TNT," I remember he would play his 'air guitar' and pretend to sing it, and play the guitar, I'll never forget that. I remember when he was Winnie the Pooh for Halloween, that was such a cute costume. I remember when I first enrolled him in baseball and how much he didn't want to do it, now it's all he wants to do. I remember his first day of Kindergarten, he was okay, and didn't cry, he was a big boy and was actually eager to be with other kids, that's where he met his BFF Kobe, and to this day, they're still friends, even though we moved away 2 years ago. I've made great efforts to keep them in contact and they're always happy to see each other.

Now my son is changing and morphing before my eyes, and becoming an adolescent. He's noticing girls and even women now, he makes remarks of boobs and legs and, "she's hot!!" and how "he's gotten his puberty," as he calls it, grown-up things like that. All the while, I'm yelling in my head, "No!!! It's too soon--isn't it?? Why can't he just like baseball (only) for a little while longer?" But I guess time marches on. My little boy is noticing girls, and getting bigger and his body is changing, and there's nothing I can do about that. I guess this is the next chapter in our wonderful book together. It's both scary and exciting at the same time, because when your son is little, you wonder what he's gonna be like when gets older. Well, mine is getting older and I know what he's like already (somewhat). Time will reveal what this boy will become, and what type of man he'll be. Alan and I try very hard, each and every day to instill values and morals in our "little man," and I hope he takes those lessons and uses them and becomes a wonderful boyfriend/husband for someone someday.

But for now, he's still my little 11 year old boy, and I'm still cherishing that everyday. I love that he still wants to be close to me, he still wants to cuddle with me on the couch and in my bed, he still wants me to tuck him in bed every night--we say our prayers and we talk about Jesus and other things, and we hug and kiss, and give each other crosses on our foreheads, this is our nightly ritual and I'll cherish it now and forever, even though I know it won't last forever.

I love you my little OD---which, by the way, is a nickname his momma gave him :)

Baby Weight??

Well, I am officially the heaviest I have EVER been in my life!!! Thanks in part to my little pnut, and partly because I was already 17 pounds heavier than I had been prior to being pregnant. Ugh, it's not pretty. I feel even worse because I'm not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. I haven't even been able to do the pregnancy yoga videos I bought, what a waste!! I'm supposed to be careful with myself, not do too much walking around, not standing for too long, so of course, that means, no working out. (In case you don't know, I was having contractions at about 25 weeks, waaaaay too early for my babygirl.)
I'm usually a pretty active person, I like going to the gym, riding my bike, doing my ChalenExtreme DVDs, lifting weights, jumping rope, running on my treadmill, etc. Now I can't do ANYTHING. My husband, of course, thinks I look great, and loves me any way that I am.
I know, I know, I should be concentrating on what my body is doing, and what it's partaking in, but it's hard, when you're on the scale staring at the numbers as they climb higher and higher and they stop at 150.2!!!!!! WTH??? I have to look around and look to see if anyone has their leg on the scale and is pushing down on it, to make the numbers climb higher and higher. Of course, there's not, it's only little 'ol me. Or, not-so-little-'ol me. Bleah!!!! Oh well. Oh wait! There's more....I was on the Babycenter website and I'm reading "what happens to your body--Week 29," and it says, "congratulations, you are now entering your third trimester, your body should be gaining 11 pounds in the next few months." What??? More weight?? Geez, I'm gonna be close to 200 pounds (hopefully not, if I watch what I eat, and try to eat healthy.) But man oh man, I'm gonna have lots of work to do when I'm done here. Whew!!!
Oh well, once little Christina is with me, I hopefully won't care so much. She'll be with me while I'm working out downstairs or outside on my treadmill. She'll probably be wondering, "what the heck is my mom running from??" ha ha

My Amazing Husband

Well, I just have to shout to the world, I HAVE AN AMAZING HUSBAND!!! I am truly blessed to have him in my life and in my kids lives. I didn't always feel that way, and I've been down some paths in my life where I questioned what I was doing. But, I really and truly believe in my heart and soul that God knows what we need in our lives, He wants the best for us, and He loves us--I know He loves me and cares deeply for me. I know this because He knew exactly what I needed in a partner. There were certain criteria I had in my mindset, and God gave all of those attributes to me in Alan. I fought against Alan for so long, because he didn't come in the "package" I wanted him to come in. But I was truly stupid and narrowminded and my heart was closed off to anything else, except my "ideal," even though my "ideal" happened to come in a nice little package, but was a complete jerk to me and cared nothing of my happiness and wellbeing.
It took me a few years to really realize what I had, thank God Alan didn't give up on me, I'm sure I wasn't easy to deal with back then, fighting against him, even though he loved me for me and wanted only to love me, and for me to love him. That's all he wanted, and I couldn't even do that. I feel so bad at times for mistreating him, I wish I could take back all the hurt and pain I caused him, but I can't. I've apologized many times, and all I can do is hope that he truly has forgiven me. He says he has and I think he really means it.
I really wanted my marriage to work, I wanted to love Alan, but for some reason, it wasn't happening on my own. I didn't know what to do, other than to pray and to ask God for forgiveness. Forgiveness for mistreating this beautiful man, for wanting to put him aside for someone else. How could I be so stupid??? So I prayed and prayed and prayed and truly dug deep inside of me and poured my heart and soul out to God and asked him to help me, help me to love Alan, to desire him, to give him the respect, love, admiration and adoration that he deserved. I prayed for a few months, and then it started happening without me even really realizing it. I started to "see" Alan in a whole new light, I loved him more than ever, I wanted to be close to him more than ever, I wanted to stroke his hair, and reach out and touch him to show him I loved him, I told him I loved him (for no reasons many times), I wanted to make love to my husband to show him I desired him. I can't attribute ANY of those things to anyone but God. God showed me how wonderful Alan is, he put a fire in me to love Alan, he opened my eyes, really and truly opened my eyes--and I see Alan the way God sees him, not the way people (me included) saw him. He was, and is beautiful to me just as he is. I can't imagine my life without him!!!
The last time Alan and I had a real big fight, was because of me (this was when I first started feeling these things I had been feeling--the good things that I've been talking about). I said some things to him (of course there was alcohol involved), I said some things I wish I hadn't. But in the morning, I realized what I had done and I cried and cried and I told him I hadn't meant any of those things, but of course, I'm sure he was probably thinking, "yeah right, I've heard that before." I felt so bad, but once you say something, (drunk or sober) you can't take it back unfortunately, and that hurt is there, and it was all over his face, and I couldn't take it back. I told him I loved him very much and that I was sorry I had said those things, that I hadn't meant any of it (I'm not very nice when I've been drinking--and I hate that about myself). I told him that God had come into my heart and I KNEW that God was with me, that He was helping me to love him and I KNEW that God was going to give us a baby because he loved us both that much. I'm sure he thought I was crazy, and I'm sure he didn't believe a word I was saying, but I knew in my heart, that's what God's plan was going to be for us. And months and months later, it did happen, just as I told him. I knew that God was working in my heart and I knew that this baby would be a sign from Him, showing Alan and I that He was there for us, and that He was working in me, and in our marriage. It was a sign to me that this was where I was supposed to be. I haven't been that horrible wife that I used to be, thank you Lord!!! I have so much love in my heart for my husband and I feel like we're at a whole different level in our marriage, I feel like we're a team and nothing can come between us. I'm there for him, and he's there for me, no matter what. That's what it should be, it's him and I against the world, working for the betterment of our kids and our family.
Alan told me a long time ago that God brought us together, and I would always dismiss him when he said that, but I truly believe He did do this on purpose, this was His plan from the beginning and I know I've been truly blessed and God really does have us in the palms of His hands. Nothing will ever make me believe any differently.
We are now onto a new chapter of our lives thanks to God. We have a new little baby girl on the way, and all along the way I've had faith that everything was going to be fine with her, even though we had some not-so-good news along the way. We had to have chromosomal testing, amnioscentesis testing done, etc. In my heart, I felt like all of thoses tests were unnecessary and I told Alan, but he thought we should have them done anyway. I said, "okay," because I knew he was worried. I, on the other hand, knew God was with me and my unborn baby, and I knew he would give us a healthy baby girl. And sure enough, I think God sees the faith in my heart and soul and he has provided. God is so great!!! Alan sees the faith I have, and I think it's rubbing off on him now too, which is sometimes a little hard for him to do, but he's trying. He sees what my faith has brought us and how can that be denied???
I love you Alan!!!!!!!

Little Baby Christina

When you haven't been pregnant for a loooong time, you tend to forget all the things that go along with your pregnancy. The uncomfortableness (if that's a word), being tired ALOT, the heartburn, fun stuff like that. But one of the things I really love, is being able to feel my baby move inside of me. She's been moving around since about 15 weeks, that I could actually tell it was a baby, and not some other bodily function. I am now almost 29 weeks and last night when I was laying in bed, I was laying on my left side, laying with my pregnancy pillow, which has saved my sleep life, and some little body part of hers scraped the inside of my tummy. Now I've felt little bumps and kicks and scrapes, but this one literally made me kinda jump because it actually tickled me and I laughed outloud. It was so funny and it felt funny. Then you get to thinking about what she's doing, was she flipping around, was her leg pointed straight out and flipping at the same time?? Who knows. I told Alan about what happened, because I think he was already falling asleep, and he says, "you get to have all the fun." I guess I do. I get to be the closest to her already, I get to feel her when she's not ready to go to sleep when I am, I feel her little hiccups. It's truly amazing and miraculous. I love her already and I haven't even seen her or held her yet.
Won't be too much longer yet, at times though, it seems so far away.

My Baby Boy

Well OD has always been very close to me and has always liked to snuggle, hug, and kiss me. But lately he has been a lot more. I don't know if it's because of the new baby coming or because he just loves me even more! Either way, I don't mind at all. I love when he comes and sits by me and just wants to be close. He will ALWAYS, and I do mean, ALWAYS smell me. He will smell my neck, chest, and even my feet and underarms (yeah, I know), but I guess his strongest sense is his sense of smell (which is funny because he has allergies and his nose is either plugged or is runny most of the time, but it doesn't keep him from smelling me and everything else!!)
So we're sitting on the couch the other night and he's smelling really good (his hair even smelled like Dreft laundry detergent--no, he didn't use that, but he sure smelled like it.) He starts putting his hands on my thighs, like he's trying to measure around and see how big they are. He told me recently that I had big thighs, and no I wasn't offended, it was just an observation. So he says to me, while he's 'measuring,' "you have big thighs, I LIKE big thighs. Do you think I'll have big thighs like Stephen Drew?" Now for those of you who don't know who he is, he's the shortstop for the Dbacks, and we've seen him in person, and that guy is seriously built. He has huge thighs, because he's such an athlete. So I told OD that, of course, he could have big thighs too, if he eats right and works out. He lamented on this for a bit and just smiled at me with that Spongebob smile (he has a little gap in his teeth, so he looks a bit like Spongebob to me) it's adorable.
But I have to wonder, was he talking about liking girls with big thighs or just being an athlete with big thighs. Because he also talked about some woman's boobs we had seen on 'Interview With a Vampire' movie. We were going to breakfast after church one morning and out-of-the-blue, I hear this little voice come from the back of the truck that says: "I don't like skinny boobs like that girl on the movie last night." I had to think for a moment and then I asked him why he thought they were 'skinny.' He said, 'they're just skinny, I like boobs like momma's.' How funny is that?? My 10 year old is already putting into his head what type of woman he likes. He likes Mexican girls, with long hair, my skin color, big thighs, and boobs like mine. Okay, that sounds JUST LIKE ME. Ha ha ha ha!!!! Well, we'll see who he ends up bringing home. Geesh, what happened to his 10 year old -15 year old self??? It's like he's 20 already.
Boys . . . . . .

Funny OD

So Sunday morning we got up and I felt good, so we went to church--yay!! I was so glad to be able to go and worship, I missed the message and worship last weekend. Anyway, we went to The Farmhouse for breakfast and I got the 'special' which was green chili/pork on scrambled eggs and tortillas, it was sooooo yummy. So I said, "I wonder if the baby likes green chili? She should, she's Mexican, right?" So OD pipes up and says, "How do you know the baby's Mexican?" Kids say the funniest things. I thought it was cute.

A Bit of a Scare

On January 30th, Krista had a birthday party for Ethan, and after a bit I went to the baseball field to watch my boy play for a bit. Alan wanted to go eat something, but I wanted to go home instead, since I hadn't really been laying down at all that day. I went home (it was around 4-4:30pm), lay on the couch and was trying to relax and stay off my feet for a bit. About an hour later, I started feeling more cramping (which I later found out were contractions), and I had a pain on either side of my abdomen, pains like side-stitches, like when you've run a lot, but it wouldn't go away, plus, I had lots of pressure down by my pelvic area. Basically, I didn't feel well at all and was constantly moving around to get into a comfortable position, but couldn't. I was even sitting upright on the edge of the couch and couldn't catch my breath at times. Alan asked me (several times) if there was anything he could do, and finally I told him I thought I needed to go to the emergency room because the pains and the pressure was so bad; it was even hard to walk and I had to do it very slowly. So we end up taking OD to Erica's (thank goodness, because they weren't letting kids into the lobby of the hospital even.)
So we get to the hospital and they hook me up to monitors, for me and for my baby, watching us both. I told the nurse I thought I was having contractions, but the monitor wasn't picking anything up. I think she might have thought I was being overly dramatic or whatever, but I know what contractions feel like, and I've been through this situation with Joshie. Anyway, I was dialated, but nothing to be alarmed about, mine was normal (1/2 cm), there was nothing in my urine showing dehydration or anything like that. They did a test called FFN, which is a test that will show a certain protein that is secreted when you are actually going into labor it was negative, so that was a good thing. The nurse moved my monitor around and finally started picking up my contractions, so I got a shot of Terbutilane, not fun. Not fun because, it makes you super shaky, your heart races, and it only took my contractions away for a little bit (like 1/2 hr.), after that, they came back, so they ended up giving me the pill form (also to take home), and that seemed to work better. I was told I had to be on bedrest (super fun!!!--NOT) and take my pills. So I rested Sunday (no church, bummer) but didn't take the medication after 2pm that afternoon. I wasn't having the contractions anymore, and I didn't like the way they made me feel, so I thought, if it comes back, then I'll take them, but if I don't need them, why take them?
Monday I had an OB appointment, and I still hadn't had any contractions. The doc said to stay off my feet as much as possible and I could take the meds as needed. So as of today 2-10-10, I haven't had any contractions, but I still have this pressure inside of my vag (my cervix, I suppose), it feels worse when I'm standing or walking for too long. So to this day, I'm trying to take it really easy, laying down as much as possible. It's not easy, but I guess it's giving me time to catch up on things like, MY BLOG!!! I'm reading my books, FBooking, playing Farmville (dork, I know). I've laundered my baby girl's little clothes, her blankets, bibs, and bedding for her new crib. I have a washer/dryer in my closet, so I'm not lifting heavy items and I'm not walking far at all--so don't get all crazy peeps that are reading this. ha ha
Right now I'm sitting up on my bed with my laptop, my hubby brought me breakfast this morning and I'm updating my blog. Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming and I get bored, but I think, what's the alternative? If I don't take care of myself, my little girl could come way too early and have some really bad problems, so that makes me stay in bed, makes me take it easy. Like last night, I made flautas and I didn't feel too well standing for so long, so I asked Alan to get me a stool to sit on. He brought me nana's walker she had while she was here and I sat on it while I was at the stove, it helped a great deal. The kids got a kick out of me sitting while cooking, especially sitting on that walker. But if I don't cook, we eat out, and I can only take that so much, then it's like, okay, I gotta make something good for us; the kids too, they've asked me to cook, I think they enjoy my cooking alot more than eating out.
So anyway, I'm just taking it day by day and so far I've gone 2 extra weeks, I have about 9-10 weeks to go, if I'm gonna make it to at least 36 weeks, which is good. All 3 of my kiddos were born at 36 weeks, and they were good, Darian was a bit small, but the other two were bigger. I'm just trying to get to 36 weeks and I'll be happy, no worries then.

My Baseball Player

On January 30th, OD had a baseball tune-up clinic. I was at Krista's for a bit because it was Ethan's birthday party, but I left after a bit because I wanted to watch my boy play some ball. I got to the field and Alan and I just stood around for about 1/2 hour. OD had done a great job, Alan said. He said even though he's with the "big boys" this year (in the majors) he could definately hold his own. He was making the catches, hitting the ball and fielding really well. I already knew he could do it, and I later told OD how proud I was of him, and gave him reassurance that no matter how much bigger another kid is, it doesn't make him better or faster, it doesn't matter; and just because a kid LOOKS like he can play, doesn't necessarily mean he can. He was surprised he was in the majors this season, but I told him it was because of his age. He was a little apprehensive at first, but after talking with him, he knew he could do it--with mom behind him, how can he not, right?

Pnut's First (good) Viewing

January 19, 2010--Today we have a 3D/4D ultrasound to see our little babygirl. It's an ultrasound purely for our delight and our impatience (we can't wait to see who she looks like). I invited my mom and sisters to the viewing and they all came (yay!) along with little Clementine. So without further ado, here are some pictures from that day; I happen to think she looks like Alan, so see what you think.

Christmas 2009

Well, we had Christmas this year at Krista's. Which was nice, because I'm pregnant and I didn't have lots to do, with getting our house THAT ready for company, getting food, and then cleaning. I love entertaining in our home, but it is a lot of work!
Anyway, it was nice, because everyone was there--EVERYONE!! Dad, Tina and her kids, Mom and Richard, and all my siblings and all of our kids, plus Matthew and Jessica (which was nice that they came as well) that's a lot of people, at least 30 of us all together.
We did our gift exchange, which takes a bit of time, and all the kids were so excited to open gifts--when are they not, right?
After celebrating at Krista's then our lil' family went home and the kids wanted to open gifts at home, soooo bad, but Alan wanted to wait until the morning. I have to admit I was excited for the kids to open their gifts as well, so I talked Alan into letting them open their gifts that evening. It's not like we had plans the next day anyway, so we could all sleep in. So we got home, changed into our pj's and opened our gifts. It was really nice, just us, tree lit, the dogs in the house with us running around, I just love Christmas!!! My honey ended up getting me something I've been eyeing for a while. It's a one-of-a-kind Roberto Coin bracelet from our favorite jewelry store. The bracelet is literally one-of-a-kind because it was made for a jewelry show competition and it won!!! It's yellow gold, and if you look at it one way, it has regular white diamonds (or clear, however you label them), and if you look at it from the opposite direction, there are black diamonds. So depending on which way you're looking at it, it looks different, and it's gorgeous. He said he had bought it back in October ( I personally think he bought it when he knew I was pregnant, but whatever, right?) Anyway, it was a great night. Everyone was tired and we went to bed around 2 am. Christmas is so much fun and the anticipation of Christmas Eve and Christmas makes it all the better.